Fiona was grappling with the water bug when I noticed him.
I don't know if he was in the jogging stroller, and she dug him out, or if he was under it somehow. She chased him towards my son's little rolly bookbag cart thingy.
"Ahhhh."
Sprog looked at me from his booster seat, alarmed.
"Ah- it's, it's nothing. It's just a bug. Fiona's got him."
Still, I moved my laptop out of range, to the other side of the booster seat.
Then, Fiona was done. She stalked off. Nothing in her mouth. And... nope. No body. None that I could see, anyway.
Which meant he was still alive. Either in my son's cart, or he'd crawled under the door to the hallway closet.
Crap.
"That meant he was between me and the vacuum cleaner,"
I explained to my husband later.
(The vacuum is my preferred bug-killing device, since it's effective at long range, and makes me feel like I have a big bug-killing bazooka or something.)
"AND between me and the door." Which meant I couldn't leave.
"It really put a damper on my morning, since we couldn't go out, and the living room rug is really filthy. Sprog was pretending to nap on it earlier and I was like, No! Don't put your face on that! It's gross. But I was afraid to open the hallway closet, because the bug would be there, ready to... I don't know, spit acidy venom in my face or whatever it is I think those bugs are going to do. Why am I so afraid of them? I'm sooo much bigger than they are, and all they can do to me is be utterly vile."
Apparently being vile holds a lot of power over me.
"And now it's like I feel extra bad, because I'm being a coward in front of Sprog. Although, actually, I was prepared to go hunting for it. That's why the red Converse was out. And the big book on the table."
"I noticed."
"Yeah, I figured of all the big, heavy books we have, you wouldn't mind it so much if I got bug guts on A History of the Geography of Africa."
"Yeah, you chose well there."
"I had to make a quick assessment, cause I wanted to be ready if the bug showed up again. But then I remember those sneakers. Books are like grenades-- they're big and wide and you can cover a lot of area dropping them from farther away. But the sneaker is more of an I'm going in! close-range weapon. If that makes any sense."
"Yeah, no, I'm following you."
"And I was thinking I could free myself by going and getting him so I'd know he was dead. So that was kind of brave."
"It was."
"But I really wanted Fee to hunt with me, but by that point she'd gotten all comfy on the top of the chair, and when I tried to get her she was like, Lady, I'm on a break. So... I decided to just wait and see if he showed up again."
"I see Fee scratched Sprog's arm again."
"Yeah. She's been kind of a punk with him lately. But she fought with the bug, so she's still in my good graces. Fiona the Brave! She just needs to adjust back to civilian life again."